There is a semi-popular meme going around Facebook that I have seen several times. It says something along the lines of “I miss me. The old me, the happy me, the bright me, the smiling me, the gone me.” I have seen a few different variations of the meme and it totally breaks my heart every time I see it because I used to feel the exact same way. I told someone once, in the midst of a really crazy season for myself and my family, in the midst of depression, in the midst of scary diagnoses, that I missed the person I used to be and didn’t think I would ever see that person again.
I missed the glass-half-full way I always used to look at things. I missed the girl that used to (at the ripe old again of 23) jump on her bed and encouraged her husband to join her in the fun. I missed the person that spent her college years “partying” with a box of crayons and a coloring book because it was relaxing before finals. I miss the girl who believed that she could do anything, the one who saw the beauty in the world, the one who believed in the innate goodness of those around her, the one who got excited to see sunrises and sunsets because it showed God’s handiwork on a daily basis. I missed her!
And, I finally got her back!
How? It sounds totally crazy, but I started having fun again. Not just go out with my friends on a monthly basis (or, let’s be honest, yearly basis for most of us) kind of fun. I mean the kind of fun that we have forgotten was fun because we have spent so long squashing our inner child that we don’t realize anymore how important she is to our survival. She IS our spark! She is the one who looked at the world with wonderment and awe every time she learned something new. She is the one who walked into situations with excitement because, she didn’t always know what was going to happen, but she knew it was going to be fun! I am using the pronoun “she” here because I am speaking from personal experience, but feel free to use whatever pronoun you want, it still applies.
If you are anything like I was, you just read that and thought, “Fun? What is that?” The first time someone told me to do something I enjoyed doing, I was completely lost. It had been years since I had had any fun and I couldn’t even think of things that I used to enjoy doing as a child.
But that is where I started. I sat down with a pen and paper and asked myself, “What did I enjoy doing while I was growing up?” It took a while but I was pleasantly surprised when the ideas started flowing freely and I wound up with a pretty decent list of things I enjoyed doing.
However, I am not naïve enough to think that everyone had a childhood as pleasant as mine. If you are having issues thinking of a time in your childhood that you enjoyed life, due to abuse, sickness, pain, etc. just ask yourself what kinds of things you have always thought would be fun to try. If money wasn’t a problem and you were allowed to do anything, what would you do? Jump on the bed? Play hopscotch? Dance? Skydive? Swim? Bake a cake? Sing? The sky is the limit! You can do anything you want to do, as long as it is legal and doesn’t hurt anyone else (that’s my disclaimer, so no one can sue me for encouraging something someone shouldn’t do. 😊)
Still struggling? Here are some more ideas that I came up with to help you get started:
Compete in the little things: who dances the silliest, who blows the biggest bubbles,
etc.
Jump on your bed or a trampoline (I am, also, not liable for any broken bed frames. 😉)
Cloud watch. When is the last time you searched for shapes in the clouds? Find some
silly shapes and give them names.
Color or draw: it doesn’t have to be perfect, just have fun!
Movie night with the family. Go all out: popcorn in the little “popcorn” containers, boxes
of candy, how about a sheet and screen projector outside on a nice evening?
Have a nerf war. This is one of my kids’ favorite things to do with their mom and dad.
Take your kids to the park and join them on the equipment. When is the last time you
attempted the monkey bars?
Do a game night with your friends or family. Try a new game.
Have a “Dad joke” competition: whoever laughs the most loses.
Reconnect with nature: dance in the rain or walk barefoot in the grass.
Dance: put on your favorite genre of music, crank It up, and dance your heart out.
Draw a masterpiece. . . . with chalk!
Lay on a blanket and watch the stars. How many constellations can you name?
Visit a museum, zoo, arcade, bowling alley, laser tag arena, etc.
Try a new sport or hobby.
Learn something new. Is there something you’ve always wanted to learn, look up
YouTube videos or sign up for a nearby class and learn it!
Daydream: The sky’s the limit, as the saying goes.
This list is by no means exhaustive. There are tons of things to do for fun and what you consider fun may be totally different than what I consider fun. I just want you to think about letting your inner child out to play on a more regular basis. As noted in my self-care blog (find it here: https://freshofbreathair.com/2021/02/22/quick-guide-self-care/), it may take some time to get used to having fun again, so make sure you schedule some into your crazy day until fun becomes second nature, like riding a cart in a parking lot.
Do I think just adding fun to your days will bring back your spark completely, no, of course I don’t. Some people have serious tragedies that they need to work through and I get that. However, adding a little fun into your life can be a great place to start! Seriously, start enjoying life again! Make your list, act on it, and let the rest of us know what you have done recently to add a little fun to your life!
Fresh of Breath Air 